


No One Leaves Out the Eagles

by GlameowGal360, notallfoxes



Series: Ultimate Eagles, Let’s Go Lions, Golden Memes [6]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, chatfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:15:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24583657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlameowGal360/pseuds/GlameowGal360, https://archiveofourown.org/users/notallfoxes/pseuds/notallfoxes
Summary: The ULTIMATE Eagles do not settle for second best. They aren’t content with simply getting in on the fun. If they’re setting their sights on the Lions, they’re going to outdo anyone who came before them.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/Hubert von Vestra/Dorothea Arnault/Petra Macneary, Ferdinand von Aegir/Dorothea Arnault, Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra, Ferdinand von Aegir/Lorenz Hellman Gloucester, Linhardt von Hevring/Caspar von Bergliez/Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert, Linhardt von Hevring/Caspar von Bergliez/Bernadetta von Varley
Series: Ultimate Eagles, Let’s Go Lions, Golden Memes [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1724461
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	1. Pleasure from Betrayal

Ultimate Eagles

—Monday, 1:00 p.m.— 

Edelgard: I never thought I’d see the day when my own girlfriend betrayed me. 

Dorothea: In my defense Edie, Hilda can be very persuasive when she uses her toys. 

Hubert: More so than me?

Dorothea: You’re in a league all your own, dear, but I’d been meaning to get her in bed for quite some time. 

Petra: It looks like you were doing quite the number on her. She seems very tired. 

Dorothea: Good. 

Edelgard: Back to the matter at hand. 

Edelgard: You didn’t tell us about what Claude was planning until after the fact. 

Hubert: Explain yourself traitor. 

Dorothea: How about I let you punish me instead?

Petra: I forgive her.

Hubert: Petra!

Edelgard: She makes a compelling point. 

Hubert: You can’t surrender that easily Your Highness. 

Edelgard: I wouldn’t say it’s a surrender if she’s the one being punished. 

Dorothea: Hubie~

Dorothea: I’ll let you tie me up.

Hubert: …

Edelgard: I would recommend giving in. 

Petra: I do not believe you’ve ever won this argument. 

Dorothea: Take me prisoner von Vestra. 

Hubert: Damn you. 

Petra: 8:00 p.m. in my room?

Hubert: Yes. 

Dorothea: Absolutely!

Edelgard: I would love that, but first we need to devise our own plan of action. 

Caspar: WE’RE HERE. We’re here. What’s happening?

Linhardt: This is going to be strenuous, isn’t it? 

Edelgard: No more strenuous than what you were just doing. You missed the entirety of lunch. 

Caspar: I may be tired and hungry, but it was worth it. 

Linhardt: Bernadetta is always worth it. 

Dorothea: Well said. 

Bernadetta: You’re making me blush!!

Linhardt: Should we stop?

Bernadetta: ...no 

Caspar: Bernie is always worth it.

Dorothea: Say it louder for the people in the back. 

Bernadetta: <3

Edelgard: We’ll reconvene later to discuss possible plans. 

Caspar: Plans for what?

Edelgard: Getting the Blue Lions into bed. 

Petra: The same bed, or separate ones?

Dorothea: Yes. 

—Tuesday, 6:00 a.m.—

Caspar: Wait. Aren’t you and Dimitri technically related???

Edelgard: I DON’T WANT TO FUCK DIMITRI YOU HEATHEN.

Linhardt: [allmyfriendsareheathens.jpg]

Dorothea: PFFFFFFFFFFT

Petra: Is that your room?

Petra: Were you recently fighting for your life?

Hubert: I really shouldn’t ask, but why is your bed upside down?

Linhardt: It’s broken in multiple places and I’m trying to figure out if I should fix it or just sleep on it the way it is now. 

Petra: The first one.

Dorothea: Good Goddess Caspie.

Caspar: That is NOT only my fault!!

Edelgard: Why are the curtains torn?

Linhardt: Both of my boyfriends are heathens, that’s why.

Caspar: Oh fuck you Lin.

Hubert: I believe you’ve done that more than enough for one lifetime. 

Dorothea: Now, now. We’ve broken our fair share of thi

Dorothea: Is that a bloodstain? 

Petra: I am certain that is a stain of blood. Someone must have been injured. 

Edelgard: Badly. 

Bernadetta: Um. 

Bernadetta: I’m pretty sure that’s mine.

Linhardt: And this is why you don’t literally rip someone’s tampon out. 

Hubert: What in the actual hell. 

Edelgard: I need context. 

Dorothea: WHOMST

Caspar: I may have been a bit too excited. 

Petra: Oh! You also have the blood kink? 

Caspar: NO. 

Bernadetta: That’s from the first time I let Caspar… You know. 

Edelgard: With context that is adorable. 

Hubert: Am I the only one bothered by the fact that Linhardt just let it sit there?

Linhardt: We cleaned most of it, but I didn’t notice this part until we flipped my bed over. 

Linhardt: Now it’s too much of a bother. It’ll just be a part of the room. 

Dorothea: Can we please discuss Caspar getting his red wings? 

Caspar: Noooooooooooooo. 

Caspar: At least, not in detail.

Bernadetta: He was very gentle. That’s all I’m saying. 

Caspar: Always with you, Bernie.

Bernadetta: I love you. A lot. 

Caspar: Yeah? Well I love you more. 

Linhardt: I love both of you more than I love experimenting. 

Bernadetta: Aww!

Caspar: You win. 

Hubert: Enough of that. 

Dorothea: You can be just as sappy when the mood calls for it. 

Petra: I can be attesting to this. 

Hubert: I have done nothing to deserve being exposed this way.

Edelgard: All of you need to stop being so precious (Hubert called Petra this last night). We’re supposed to be focused on the Lions. 

Edelgard: Also, is Ferdinand alive?

Ferdinand: That depends on how you define “alive”.

Petra: Are you breathing? 

Ferdinand: I believe so.

Hubert: You believe?

Dorothea: You better not be dead. You still owe me a date. 

Ferdinand: Suddenly I’ve been resurrected. 

Bernadetta: Hehe. Through the power of love?

Ferdinand: Through the power of she will stand outside my door and belt opera music at the top of her lungs. 

Dorothea: You know it babe. 

Edelgard: FOCUS. 

Caspar: I don’t think this needs to be complicated. Let’s just be straight with them.

Petra: Phrasing. 

Caspar: Let’s be _upfront_.

Petra: Much better!

Edelgard: And let Claude von Riegan outshine us? I don’t think so. 

Dorothea: I love how you refer to him like you haven’t fucked before. 

Ferdinand: What we need is a gesture grand enough to put the efforts of the Deer to shame.   
  


Hubert: That gives me an idea.

Bernadetta: I’m already scared. 

Hubert: Don’t be. I’m going to need flowers. 

Hubert: A lot of flowers.

Ferdinand: I think I catch your drift. We’ll also need to compose a song of some sort. 

Caspar: Now _I’m_ scared. 

Dorothea: Make it a cheesy ballad and I’m in. 

Hubert: Deal. 

Bernadetta: I can get flowers from the garden. 

Edelgard: Now we’re getting somewhere! 

Edelgard: If this is what I think it is Hubert, we’ll also need choreography. 

Linhardt: I. Am. Mortified. 

Hubert: You’ve lost any and all right to complain about excess movement. 

Edelgard: You might not have to move too much if you’re willing to write a few short stories. 

Linhardt: DEAL. 

—Tuesday, 12:00 p.m.—

Dorothea: Curiosity didn’t really kill the cat. 

Dorothea: @Ferdinand 

Ferdinand: Yes my dearest Dorothea?

Dorothea: Ferdie, I’m simply dying to know why you were dying earlier. 

Ferdinand: To put this as civilly as possible, I got railed. 

Dorothea: By whoooom?

Dorothea: Actually, I’d like to guess. 

Ferdinand: Be my guest. 

Dorothea: Hmmmm.

Dorothea: Claude and Lorenz.

Ferdinand: We have a winner. 

Dorothea: Everyone wins when it comes to sex. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m not expecting a reward. 

Ferdinand: I still owe you a date, don’t I? I’d love to make it up to you. 

Dorothea: I wonder how you plan to do that. 

Hubert: If either of you starts sexting I swear to all things unholy… 

Ferdinand: I 

Ferdinand: WOULD

Ferdinand: NEVER

Dorothea: Here we go. Do you understand what you’ve invoked? 

Hubert: Oh dear.

Ferdinand: MUST I REPEAT THE TWELVE TENETS OF FERDINAND VON AEGIR?!

Dorothea: DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’VE INVOKED?

Hubert: That really won’t be necessary. 

Ferdinand: Tenet number 1–At all times I will strive to maintain a social atmosphere as calm as (if not calmer than) the soothing aroma of chamomile tea. 

Dorothea: Darling, I beg you not to go through all 12. 

Ferdinand: Tenet number 10–At all times I will strive to keep non-intimate interactions as civil as possible. 

Hubert: Thank the Goddess.

Ferdinand: How dare you assume I would violate my own code. 

Ferdinand: And what happened to swearing to the unholy? 

Hubert: Convenience can make any man faithful. Even if only for a moment. 

Dorothea: Now both of you owe me big time. 

Hubert: We can watch a movie in my room later.

Dorothea: Only if there’s snuggling involved. 

Ferdinand: And if Hubert isn’t allowed to pick what we watch. 

Hubert: I can’t imagine why you would say that.

Ferdinand: You know exactly why. 

Hubert: But you look so cute writhing in existential dread. 

Ferdinand: Well you _don’t_ look cute with a sadistic grin plastered on your face. 

Hubert: Do you really think that?

Ferdinand: Okay, there are some situations where that grin is admittedly rather handsome. 

Hubert: :-)

Ferdinand: I’m asking you nicely to never use an emoticon again. 

Ferdinand: It contradicts your entire aesthetic. 

Hubert: And what would that aesthetic be? 

Ferdinand: Elegant yet brooding and vampiric goth. 

Hubert: I wouldn’t say I dress in all black.

Ferdinand: I imagine your soul is cloaked in black: abyssal and mysterious at first, but truly a presence as consistent and reliable as it is intimidating. 

Hubert: You flatter me my dear.

Dorothea: The sexual tension between you two is fucking agonizing. I don’t care what we watch. I’m getting the best show I could possibly ask for. 

—Tuesday, 12:15 p.m.—

Edelgard: I think I get it now.

Petra: What are you getting? 

Edelgard: Never mind. I’ll explain later.

__


	2. HELP WANTED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A co-author would be appreciated.

I was wondering if anyone would be interested in helping me write the next chapter of No One Leaves Out the Eagles. I feel like I need a fresh perspective on how to handle the characters and would (obviously) give credit. Thank you. Comment if you’re interested and we can set up communication.


	3. Early Morning Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Linhardt is a WHAT?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A major thank you to notallfoxes for help me write this chapter as well as the next one. I truly believe this is better than it would have been had I written it on my own.

—Wednesday, 5:00 a.m.—

Linhardt: I simply won’t be able to make it today. My back hurts.

Hubert: I thought I told you you’d lost the right to whine. 

Linhardt: I'm not whining, I'm bitching. There's a difference.

Edelgard: For fuck’s sake. Did you at least finish what I told you to do?

Linhardt: ...Zzzz….

Hubert: @Caspar or @Bernadetta go get your boyfriend please.

Caspar: I’ll get on it. Bernie’s resting.

Bernadetta: Thanks dear.

Caspar: :)

—Wednesday, 5:15 a.m.—

Edelgard: What’s going on?

Caspar: I’ve been banging on his door for 10 minutes!

Hubert: At this point, just kick it down.

Caspar: @Linhardt WAKE THE F UP.

Linhardt: I’m not sleeping, I’m dead. Leave flowers and go away. 

Caspar: Last warning Linny! Wake up or I’m coming in.

Linhardt: Feel free to do so at any time. 

Caspar: FUCKASDFHBJKLN

—Wednesday: 6:15 a.m.—

Bernadetta: I’m awake now and I’m kind of freaking out. 

Bernadetta: @Caspar?

Bernadetta: @Linhardt?

Bernadetta: Talk to me, please. 

Linhardt: We’re both fine, dearest. I’m sorry to have worried you so much. 

Bernadetta: Thank the Goddess. You can’t just go radio silent after “FUCKASDFHBJKLN”!

Caspar: Sorry Bernie! I, uh, got distracted.

Bernadetta: Distracted?

Linhardt: He was blushing too much to function. Caspar.exe stopped working.

Caspar: Shut up, nerd.

Linhardt: Why are you texting me? We’re in the same bed. 

Linhardt: Anyway, Caspar was unaware that I was entertaining company.

Caspar: By company he means Ashe. And I’m pretty sure I did most of the entertaining. 

Bernadetta: Oh! Cute. 

Linhardt: You’re just as adorable, darling. 

Bernadetta: <3

Linhardt: I’m off to catch a nap.

Linhardt: An adorable boy with a sore rear needs me.

Bernadetta: Awwww! So precious!

Bernadetta: Now that I think about it, you two never told me how you got together with Ashe. 

Caspar: We haven’t? Seriously??

Caspar: Well it’s one hell of a story that’s for sure. Take it away Lin!

Linhardt: Too tired. I’ll give my phone to Ashe. 

Linhardt: Um… Hi! Lin handed me his phone without explanation. Should I be concerned?

Caspar: Bernie wants to know how Lin courted you. You’ve got this, bae! 

Linhardt: You… DO remember we’re in the same bed, right?

Caspar: A bed can’t contain my love! The world must know how amazing you are!!!

Linhardt: You’re making me turn red!

Bernadetta: Dawwwww! 

Caspar: Compliments reduce him to a blushing mess. Every time. :)

Caspar: That’s basically how he and Lin got together. He courted the hell out of him.

Bernadetta: No way.

Linhardt: Yes way. He was so sweet!

Linhardt: He took me to tea, read to me, bought me a blanket for optimized napping... The whole nine yards.

Caspar: I have never seen Linhardt so motivated in my entire life. 

Bernadetta: He’s such a dear when he wants to do something for one of us. <3

Bernadetta: That reminds me of how he courted me. Ah, memories…

Caspar: I have also never seen him so completely exhausted after he plowed Ashe for the first time.

Bernadetta: THAT is a bold claim!

Caspar: Seriously, Linny refused to move for an entire week. 

Linhardt: Yeah, good times. I limped to all of my classes for the next few days. 

Bernadetta: How did Cas sweep you off your feet?

Caspar: Urrggghhh. I cringe just thinking about it.

Hubert: Wait.

Hubert: Wait one minute.

Edelgard: You’re already with Ashe and YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL US?

Dorothea: Why am I not surprised. But wow... Linny as a top.

Ferdinand: Pardon my language. 

Ferdinand: Hold. The FUCKING. Phone. LINHARDT of all people… is a top and not a bottom?

Caspar: I forgot this wasn’t our private chat. Whoops.

Bernadetta: ^^^

Linhardt: Siiiigh. It’s too soon for me to be back in this chat. Do I have to do everything myself?

Linhardt: Yes, I top Ashe. It’s just the natural way of things.

Caspar: Honestly, it’s like a universal truth or law or something.

Bernadetta: Penguins can’t fly, every action has an equal and opposite reaction, Lin pounds Ashe’s freckled ass.

Linhardt: “Freckled ass”. This is why I love you.

Bernadetta: :)

Bernadetta: He tops me too. Ashe and I are eternal bottoms. 

Caspar: On the other hand, I’m an eternal top. 

Dorothea: So Linny is actually a switch? That makes more sense. 

Ferdinand: I always thought of him as a pillow princess. 

Bernadetta: Never assume. 

Bernadetta: It makes an ASS out of U and ME.

Linhardt: Punny.

Caspar: He's not a princess unless he’s really freaking tired. 

Dorothea: He’s always tired.

Bernadetta: Like, post-experiment levels of tired.

Dorothea: Ah.

Caspar: But the only way I can get him to do me is by injecting him with like 20 grams of caffeine. And it has to be a blue moon on Friday the 13th when all the planets are aligned. 

Bernadetta: I think I’ve seen him do you twice. Has it happened more than that?

Caspar: I wish. At least when it does he’s a great 69er. 

Ferdinand: ...

Dorothea: Say it Ferdie. 

Ferdinand: Absolutely not. 

Dorothea: You would love to watch that just as much as me. 

Ferdinand: I admit to nothing. 

Bernie: Hold on. What happened to Edelgard and Hubert?

Caspar: BAHFKHGJH

Bernadetta: What?! What is it?!

Caspar: THEY'RE LITERALLY TRYING TO UNHINGE THE DOOR HOLY SHIT

Linhardt: They're scaring Ashe, the poor dear.

Linhardt: Could someone more presentable than us make them vacate the premises?

Dorothea: @Petra

Dorothea: Darling, there’s something we need to handle.

Petra: I’ll be on my way.

Caspar: THANK YOU. SO MUCH.

Caspar: I really do not wanna fight in the nude.

Linhardt: It wouldn't be the  _ worst _ thing. ;)

Bernadetta: You guys are gonna scare Ashe away!

Bernadetta: Hubert ALONE is enough to strike fear into the hearts of demons!

—Wednesday, 6:45 a.m.—

Petra: Are both of you calmer now?

Hubert: I suppose. 

Edelgard: I admit that may have been a bit much. 

Edelgard: BUT you two already dating Ashe throws a serious wrench into the plan!

Petra: Does it really?

Linhardt: *shrug*

Caspar: I mean, now you know why I wanted to partner with Ashe during the dance. 

Hubert: Please refrain from keeping us in the dark in the future. For your own sake.

Bernadetta: Yessir!

Caspar: Aye aye captain.

Linhardt: I make no promises. 

Edelgard: Ugh. 

—Wednesday, 10:15 a.m.—

Caspar: Lin hasn’t shown up to any classes, so he was serious about not coming. 

Petra: That is the opposite of surprising. 

Ferdinand: I think seeing him in class would have actually startled me. 

__


	4. One Hell of a Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Eagles go big or go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, a big thanks to notallfoxes for helping me write this!

—Wednesday, 5:15 p.m.—

“Looks like we’re ready.”

Edelgard, clad in a form-fitting red and black dress, stood in the center of the Black Eagle common room. Around her, the others were settling into their positions. Ferdinand, wearing a crimson tux with a black bow tie that managed to make him look even more noble, sat at the piano with Bernadetta by his side. The purple-haired girl had opted out of being an active participant, but was still willing to be present in an effort to support her classmates. That was one of the many, many reasons why everyone loved Bernie: there were still a lot of things that were too overwhelming for her, but she’d started making an effort to find a way around them. Not to mention the short black dress that only served to accentuate her cuteness. 

Dorothea was a sight to behold with the way she had draped her body over the piano to talk to Ferdinand. A crimson shawl hung below her shoulders and swayed when she pushed herself up and walked over to Edelgard. 

“It’s more an epic tale than a ballad, but I can work with that.” The two women exchanged a quick kiss, and the brunette left to ensnare their current prey. 

“Linhardt isn’t coming, and Caspar’s going to be late, correct?” Hubert, diligent as ever, had a notepad ready to jot down anything important. Dorothea and Petra had managed to get him into something other than a typical suit—he wore black jeans, a white button up, and a black and blood red vest with a dark, miniature cape on top. The word attractive didn’t do him justice with that outfit. 

“Right. I believe he is tending to Ashe.” Petra was always drop-dead gorgeous, but her current attire was something else: a red dress that hugged her waist, showed a lot of leg, and revealed a hint of cleavage. Honestly, if Edelgard hadn’t been so dead set on making her plan work, she would have jumped her. 

Just outside the room, a melodious voice began to pick up volume.

“ _Let me tell you a tale known far and wide,_

 _Of Lions that are surely as proud as they are kind!_ ”

Most of the Eagles lined up and waited for their dance partners to walk into the room while Ferdinand began playing the piano. The room was filled with nervous energy, but surely this would work out. Right?

-

Petra was no fool. Even if some of the specifics were flying over her head, it was obvious that Sylvain was flirting. His eyes were going over every inch of her dress as they danced, and every word out of his mouth is dripped with charm. 

When Sylvain says a line that’s particularly over-the-top Felix groans from his spot on one of the couches and decides to intervene: he shuffles his way past the other couples and forces himself between Petra and his boyfriend. Petra has little trouble adjusting to a different partner; she wraps her arms around Felix’s neck and pulls him close. 

Sylvain, however, didn’t let go. One of his hands settled on Petra’s hip while the other slid up Felix’s shoulder. He ducked his head near Felix’s neck and chuckled.

“Bastard.” Felix muttered, stifling a noise when hot lips met his skin. His arms were around Petra, but he had little interest in dancing, so now they’re huddled together in a dark corner. Perfect for where this was going. 

“May I?” Petra threaded her fingers through his hair in a way that nearly made him shudder. Her mouth was already incredibly close to his, and her request led him to quickly close the distance. Her kiss was a heated embrace—one so fierce it almost distracted him from the bite marks being left along his neck. 

She pulled back with a bite—fuck, he really liked that—and pulled the redhead in to claim his mouth too. Just as Felix started on a hickey under her jaw, she separated from them, smiling when she saw that both men were breathing heavily. Unfortunately, she couldn’t take things any further at the moment: she was only supposed to entice them. They were absolutely enticed.

-

“Were I not behind this piano,” Ferdinand said with a charming smile, “I would sweep you off your feet, dearest Annette.”

The ginger giggled as a faint blush bloomed on her cheeks. “I’ve never been much of a dancer,” Annette admitted. “Mercie tried teaching me once, but I ended up stepping on her feet and bringing us crashing to the ground.”

Bernadetta tried and failed to stifle a cutesy titter behind her hands. “I-I’m sorry,” she stumbled over her words, “I shouldn’t laugh, b-but-“

“Oh it’s fine,” Annette smiled with a playful eye roll. “I’m well aware of how clumsy I am.”

“Ah, but that is part of your charm,” Ferdinand added earnestly. “You dive headfirst into challenges that frighten others from ever making an attempt. And succeed or fail, you never lose heart to try again. It is an enviable quality, Annette, one you should wear proudly.”

Annette turned completely crimson, burying her head in her hands with a squeak. “C’mon, stop,” she groaned.

“N-No! Ferdie’s right,” Bernadetta insisted. To Ferdinand’s surprise, she actually stood and wrapped the blushing girl in a tight hug. “I’ve had to work so, so hard to become even half as outgoing as you are!” Then, in a shocking display of boldness, the recluse gave Annette a peck on her burning cheek.

Ferdinand could not stop his fond smile, beaming proudly at how far their Bernie had come.

-

“His Highness quelled a rebellion with little to no help. In less than a day.”

“Please. Her Majesty convinced an entire section of the Empire not to rebel with nothing more than her words—a skill the prince appears rather lacking in.”

Hubert felt the arm around him clench, and smirked. If there was one thing Dedue wouldn’t be able to resist discussing, it was his liege. 

“Perhaps he has trouble refining his speech, but that comes from his desire to be approachable. I wouldn’t exactly call Lady Edelgard approachable.” 

Even in the midst of their arguments, neither man had fallen out of step with the music. 

“True enough. Milady prefers to keep up a sense of distance.” Slowly, Hubert pressed his body against Dedue’s. The Duscur native caught on, and seemed to be at a loss for how to react. 

“However, I’d argue that distance is a necessity when it comes to leadership. I don’t think it’s as necessary right now.” 

Dedue blinked. He wanted to pinch himself to ensure this wasn’t some sort of dream. Hubert chuckled and leaned up to whisper to him.

“I don’t blame you for being nervous. Especially if you’re anywhere near as tactless as your liege when it comes to this sort of thing.”

That single comment led to Hubert being dragged off and pinned against a nearby wall. 

“I think he’s more forward than tactless.” Dedue moved in to kiss him, but Hubert slipped out from his grasp, pecking his cheek along the way. 

“Oh, I think you’ll have to be a bit more charming than that.” 

Both of them smirked. This was going to be _fun_.

-

Never in her wildest dreams had the future empress thought that everything would go so smoothly that she’d spend so much time enjoying herself. Well, either things were going smoothly or her partner was doing a wonderful job distracting her from any surrounding chaos. Either way, Edelgard found herself smiling as she and Mercedes danced across the room. 

“It was so nice of you to do this for us!” Mercedes truly was sunshine incarnate with a smile on her face. It made Edelgard wonder what she’d be like with a different expression. 

“Well, I won’t lie and say we don’t have ulterior motives.” She lifted the platinum blonde and spun her a few times, earning a jovial laugh. 

“It’s a shame we didn’t get to know each other before this, but-“ Without warning, Mercedes dipped her, and a sly grin appeared on her mouth. “I think we can make up for that moving forward.”

Edelgard was tempted to kiss her right there and then, but her pride wouldn’t allow it. She dragged Mercedes to the floor, ensuring not to hurt her. Edelgard climbed on top of her, looking like much more of a lion than she did. 

Mercedes only giggled. “Why Edelgard, this is so sudden!” Despite her supposed surprise, she drew the woman above her close. 

Edelgard traced her thumb over her lips. “You always look so irresistible. Really, it’s a wonder your partners don’t always have you in this position.” 

Although a thousand ideas courses through her head, Edelgard pushed them away and stood, offering Mercedes her hand. “If you agree to let me take you on a date, I promise we can pick up where we left off.” 

Mercedes accepted, but leaned in to give Edelgard a soft peck when she was near enough. “I’d love that.”

-

Dorothea grinned at the sight of Ingrid - blushing with her eyes glued to her figure. She approached with a sway in her step that only drew more attention to her generous curves.

“M-Me?” Ingrid stammered once it became clear that she was the intended target.

“Yes, you,” Dorothea smirked, leaning toward the flustered blonde, not near enough to touch but close enough to be tempting. “You are a bewitching girl, after all. Positively breathtaking! Someone looking at you could be forgiven for... wanting to pounce.”

“C-Could they be? I don't know that I'd forgive them.”

“It all depends on who’s doing the pouncing,” the songstress purred.

Ingrid steadfastly kept her hands on her lap, her knuckles white as she gripped the edges of her skirt. Always so reserved. It would be frustrating if it wasn’t so adorable. She tried to look elsewhere, noticed Dimitri looked just as entranced as she did, and tugged him closer to her. 

The prince squawked. Ingrid rolled her eyes. “Pardon me, _Your Highness_ , but I’m not being seduced on my own.”

“That’s why I’m asking permission before I lunge,” Dorothea winked.

Ingrid swallowed. Then she promptly buried her chivalry and pulled Dorothea onto her lap where she belonged. The brunette managed to laugh before Ingrid’s mouth completely covered hers. 

While they kissed, Dorothea took note of Dimitri’s gaze and the fact that it never wandered. She crooked a finger to beckon him. He blushed, but remained rooted to his seat.

When she and Ingrid finally broke apart, the blonde settled Dorothea in Dimitri’s lap so she could give him her undivided attention. “And you, Your Highness?” Her voice was downright sinful. “Are you enjoying the show?”

“D-Dimitri.” He corrected. 

She gave him a predatory grin. “Alright then. Dimitri. Or maybe Dima?” She said his name like a prayer, but one that had a ridiculously lustful undertone.

The prince of Faerghus’ jaw clenched and he turned an even darker shade of red. Dorothea tilted his head upward with a finger to his chin and she felt him hesitantly hug her. She tsked and made to stand up. No innocent embraces today.

“Ah-ah,” she playfully chided. “Hands to yourself, Dima. We wouldn’t want to be indecent, would we?”

Dimitri’s eye twitched, and Dorothea could practically see his shift from sweet boy to what Felix called “the boar”. He lowered his hands and went tense with barely-contained aggression.

“…Y-You are playing with fire,” He said through gritted teeth.

“I’d say poking the lion,” She chuckled.

“You don’t want me like… this,” Dimitri growled in warning.

“Oh, I think I do.”

“I tend to break things…”

“You should know by now that some people like being broken..”

“Careful what you wish for.”

“Goddess, are you two going to devour each other or not?!” Ingrid barked impatiently.

A sinister grin overtook Dimitri’s face as he grabbed a fistful of Dorothea’s hair and pulled her into an animalistic clash of teeth and lips. Dorothea unabashedly moaned, happy as a kitten that had gotten the cream.

-

Byleth, somewhat alarmed by the abundance of noise, peered through the open door of the Eagle common room. She swiftly grew to regret her concern. This was not what Byleth had expected to see when she woke up today. The professor wasn’t stupid. She knew that her students were involved in—how best to put it?—inter-house affairs.

But something this blatant? Just wow. Byleth watched in silent, morbid amazement as she watched her students kiss and shamelessly flirt. Honestly, this was one of the few times that Byleth openly admitted to being out of her depth.

At that moment, an out of breath Caspar jogged up beside her. On his back was a conked-out Ashe, blissfully unaware of the hormone-fueled mess in front of them.

Caspar, eyes the size of saucers, slowly turned to meet his professor’s gaze. For a long moment, they stared at one another: a flushing student and his exasperated professor. A silent agreement passed between them:  we were never here, and we will never speak of this .

The two of them slowly backed out of the common room with ninja worthy stealth, and went their separate ways.

-

Edelgard cleared her throat to get everyone’s attention. “I think that’s enough for one evening.” She made a point of eyeing Dorothea, who was still in a now flustered Dimitri’s lap. 

The singer groaned, but got up and dusted herself off. Edelgard linked her arm through Mercedes’s and led her to the door, nodding to her classmates to follow her lead. 

Petra strode confidently out the door with Sylvain and Felix on either side of her. Bernadetta and Ferdinand had their arms around a still blushing Annette while Dedue and Hubert walked side by side: not too close, but not too far. Last out the door were Ingrid, Dorothea, and Dimitri: the prince occasionally stumbled as he gathered his bearings, and Ingrid’s posture was notably stiff. Despite this, they still held hands with an oh-so-pleased Dorothea. 

That evening definitely resulted in a plethora of even more intimate encounters.

__


End file.
